Posted by Nikisha Brunson
I can’t explain how much this video touched me! I’ve been natural for 3 months and the transition hasn’t been easy..I’m still trying to figure out what I want to do with my hair besides putting heat on it, but this is beautiful and let me know I’m doing the right thing for MYSELF!
Just hang in there, trust me it get’s a lot easier with time!
This is absolutely beautiful. It reminded me of a talk I had with my cousin two years ago (when I became fully natural…no more straightening) and I used to wear weaves. This reminded me of the talk we had. I just went on to look at more of her videos and she said something that was so inspiring…”If I can’t be beautiful naturally, in my natural state, in the hair that God gave me, then my beauty is not real,” and that about sums up the beauty of being natural. But I am not putting any judgment on weaving-wearing women, I just wish some of them would stop putting judgment on me.
very interesting video and perspective…
I dont like weaves. never have.
I think too many of us wear weaves of hair textures which are extremely different (straighter) than our natural texture to try and fit in to a societal standard of beauty. There are a lot of excuses being given for why some choose to wear weaves, but never a truthful one. Many black men are confused and gravitate to straight hair and white skin partially because of what is reinforced in society at large as to what is beautiful. They also are doing so as means of trying to fit in and feel acceptance in a society which often reject them.
Too bad many of these guys don’t realize that rejecting who you are and where you come from (black women) will not gain acceptance and respect. If only they valued that which truly matters- education, self-employment, business development, personal responsibility and self-respect the way they value being with a non-black woman. Until and unless that happens, things will continue to be a hot mess.
This is so sad. I bet you don’t even realize how racist you sound. Do you ever stop and think that maybe the reason a lot of black men date non-black women is simply just because that is who they find attractive god forbid even fall in love with them? Who are you to decide who should be with who? You sound bitter and it’s really sad to know that there are people like you who think this way. Yes, there are a lot of black men that date white women, but there are also a lot of black women who date white men, as well as a million other combinations of people. How do any of those relationships directly affect your life, or your image of yourself? All that negativity is coming from you and your selfish, backwards way of thinking. Are you aware that the year is 2012? And a black man deciding to be with anyone of a different race should not directly affect you. Don’t be ignorant! We all need to stick together and even though I don’t know you, you are better than this.
Thank you Kaimanii for speaking the truth!
No need to attack me for having YOUR head up your A–. I could care less who black men date. I was responding to the video with my thoughts about WHY this is so prevalent. I date inside AND outside of my race.
Black people, as a whole , are NOT doing well. There are multiple reasons for that. It is not racist to say that and to examine the reasons why. As long as people (men included) are preoccupied with ‘chasing away their blackness’, things will not improve. The FACTS speak for themselves. It is no negative to look at the TRUTH. . . even if it is ugly.
It is not normal for the numbers of black men gravitating towards nonblack women for the reasons that you state. No other race of men do or have done that.
I am not bitter. I am actually a elf-employed , highly educated , physically fit and personally happy woman. Thanks for the fake shrink session, though! LOL!
It is ‘not’ negative to look at the TRUTH
Are you serious? Can you give me one fact about how black men are “chasing away their blackness” by dating out of their race? Do you honestly believe yourself when you say that no other race dates outside of their race? You are so naive and it disgusts me. There are so many beautiful interracial couples and they don’t need this. Your basically trying to define what being black is, and truthfully or every person. You are the epitomy of biggot and a self hating black person. You have no business telling people wether they are black enough according to you or even defining what “blackness” is. What your doing is keeping people demoralized and separated and that is wrong. Continue to be angry everytime you see someone who you deem as chasing away their blackness and you will be angry every day. And as far as you being physically fit and self employed, I really don’t understand what that has to do with anything that we we’re talking about (as if you have to be physically fit to love yourself, don’t even get me started on that). You need help.
Zenith, you are NOT a happy woman. You have abandonment and rejection issues.
Not true, most non-black people aren’t fond of black women, so they are more accepting of black men who join their side. They have something in common and to bond over. Also, why is it bad if some find white people attractive? I find some white people attractive too but that doesn’t mean I’m rejecting my father in anyway. To be honest, when choosing my mates, I really don’t want to think about my parents in anyway, just want who turns me on. I think black women need to put more focus on themselves than black men because you would have a lot more to contribute to the world instead of this vicious cycle of rejection and low self esteem.
Are you kidding me?! This is absolutely retarded!!! Black women and women in general seriously need to stop blaming men and white women for the reasons why they don’t love themselves. I wore weaves/wigs and all of that crap for years, and I do believe that EVERYONE needs to accept themselves for who they are. But part of accepting yourself is realizing that the only person who can hurt your feelings is yourself and your own thoughts, you need to break free from the prison of your mind, and blaming dead slave masters is only keeping you enslaved. Continuing to let these people effect the way you live your life, and your thoughts and feelings only perpetuates the belief that they are above you and have control over your thoughts feelings and mindset. This whole video is sad. As a proud African women I am HIGHLY offended. If you continue to blame others for what you have done to yourself, then you will always be a slave, to yourself.
It is impossible to have a greater understanding of yourself unless you understand your history. As a proud black woman as well and THE MAKER OF THIS FILM i believe that to have an understanding of self we have to pay attention to why we are who we are today in order to live up to that full potential. If we never address the root of our problems we can never fully understand who we are and that is the problem within our community. I am sorry that this poem wasn’t able to reach out to you and that you were so offend by my effort to bring more awareness to something that is never discussed. I have reached out to a lot of women and changed a lot of lives and for that reason I am so happy I made it. Connect with me on Facebook: Kay Enigma or on twitter @klaenigma or check out my blog…revealingtheroots.com. stay blessed.
Enough said everything you said is so true. You can’t understand ones
self without acknowledging past period.You didn’t just start doing and
living how you are without being taught or seeing something done before
,so how can anyone be offended. Oh i know because THEIR CLOSED MINDED!
Period your poem touched me and it is sad how people don’t realize why
people love relaxers, texturizers and weaves its the feeling of not
being good enough and guess what that’s from our history. I strongly
believe this poem is the start of a change and those who don’t agree
will be left in the dust.
Are you seriously implying that those dead slave masters didn’t plant the seed that’s grown into what it has today??? And no, we are not the only ones who can hurt our feelings. YOU might be mentally stronger than most but I find it insulting that you would sit there and down play what our ancesters and women today have went through and are still going through. It’s a mindset that is deeply imbeded into our culture and we are not the ones who put it there or started it. Have you forgotten about Willie Lynch?? You’ve gone from one extreme to the other, it’s not at all the slave masters fault but it’s 100% our fault….oh okay.
I’m sorry but only you have the power to control your mind and perception of self. No one else has control unless you allow them to. I recommend psychological therapy for black women still holding on to things that happened 400 years ago to people none of us knew. It would help give you techniques to identify self destructive behaviours and move forward with your lives.
this was so intense and so true. we define ourselves with weaves and perms so that a man could look at us. If I cant love myself now with my beautiful locs then who will. this video brought me close to tears cause I was once that female until 2yrs ago, truly happy for sites like this. I call it the natural hair movement!!!
What I don’t understand is why do black women give men so much significance that they would alter themselves completely out of their true being. No man on this planet means that much to me and if I needed to do all of that then he is the one who is discriminatory. He is the one is not accepting of what god created. He is to continue being irrelevant to my world because he has nothing to contribute to it. Nothing.
When will black women see that they care too much for people who are undeserving of them to begin with.
What about black women who are attracted to white guys. Why is one race supposed to be only attracted to their race. I don’t really GET this video. It puts confusion where there doesn’t have to be any. And second, if you want to wear a weave or go natural it is strictly your decision and no one else’s.
yeah, i don’t understand the connection with interracial dating and self-hatred. I mean…there’s nothing wrong with dating outside your race. I do and I’m natural. Also, while I do think that people need to understand the history behind relaxing and weaves, I don’t think it’s fair to make a blatant statement that those with weaves/wigs are “westernized” or hate their hair.
My only issue with this video is that it comes off as a little “anti-white” in some parts.
I don’t know about this. I have had natural hair for 7 years now and I’m very proud of it. Yes, a few blacks guys gave me a hard time about it when I did my BC, but then I dated few of them. My hair, my choice. Not yours, you know? And now, I’m married to a white man, who I love dearly and who loves me. For us it isn’t about ethnicity. It’s love, pure and simple. So honestly, I’m not concerned with who dates/falls in love with/marries who. Black men can be with whomever they please, as can I. So I don’t identify with that aspect of this video.
However, I do understand that the standard of beauty leans toward European features, which is incredibly problematic. As black Americans, our history has had us trying to reach for that aesthetic, so that we could be seen as just as good as the white Americans. You can’t argue with history.
If the point of this video is to break free from the conventional beauty standards that have been perpetuated by our American history, and embrace our natural loveliness, while avoiding putting each other down for our choices, then I’m down. But I don’t worry myself with the love lives of black men… or any man, for that matter.
I’m sorry but I am natural and I attract a lot of black men. Black men love natural hair on women that looks healthy, full, and attractive. Most don’t care for super short hair and I can’t blame them, but any length that can be grabbed is fine, doesn’t need to be excessively long because to be honest, afro textured hair shows it’s health in density far more than length, which you be soooooo grateful for when you become older women.
I think some natural hair isn’t styled in a way that is flattering all of the time to some women, and I’m sure black men would agree. I don’t do anything crazy with my hair…just keep its natural color (black), wear it in a simple in a ponytail, half up/half down, bun, maybe out with a side twist, and get a lot of admirers who seem refreshed. BM just like authentic simplicity – yes it’s just that simple. No need to do all the crazy hairstyles, just keep it easy and natural. Also, I dress conservatively/classy too, which they seem to like as well. No need to look desperate.
Wow! My thoughts exactly! Please know your history, of “their” well thought out plan to divide us. Yes the slave masters are 6ft under, but the spirit of racism is well above ground. Black women are beautiful whether relaxed, kinky, coily, or wavy! My wish is that more black women would embrace their God given beauty. My personal thought is if God wanted me to have long beautiful hair he would have given that to me. I am God’s image now.
That was real deep! True word…LOVED it. Thanks for the post.
Great video! My thoughts are that we are beautiful, straight, curly, hair. I have straight hair yet I have this presumption that I should go curly so I have tried it plenty of times and it just made me lose confidence in myself. I embraced my straight hair and I dont care who what race my guy is as long as we love each other.
so controversial. that’s the beauty of poetry. if it can make you react strongly (positive or negative), it’s done it’s job. bravo.
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Amazing video-Poweful and true
hmm..sorta get the idea behind this, but all the drama and piano music is unnecessary in my opinion. I just don’t think you can make generalizations like this, because not every black woman has a negative perspective of natural hair. In fact, I think women of color are increasingly embracing naturalness. Don’t have any stats on that but..
Love this video…from the comments it seems to be misunderstood by many.This is her perception based off of her personal experiences. That’s the beauty of poetry. Its a self-reflection. If your perception of life is different from hers then write your own poem rather than bashing her reality.
As a Natural I have had black women and Men talk down About my hair even though it’s considered to be of a “fine texture” I’ve been called ugly, nappy headed, ect especially when I first big chopped, I even had other naturals who where farther along then me look at me side ways, girls with curly weave pretending to be natural have also come at me side ways, I think my experiences though my journey so far have mad me stronger as far as embracing myself is concerned, I am still learning so much about myself and I would haver never thought trying somthing new with hair would have made such a major change in me as a person