When it comes to hair, a quick fix can sometimes feel like the only option that is placed upon a pedestal and revered more often than it needs to be where as hard work is looked as finding a needle in a haystack then losing it and finding again. I have received a couple of emails where women have expressed their annoyance in the way I describe my hair as “hard work which makes it seem as if I am perpetuating the myth that kinky textured hair is unmanageable”…..WHAT? How does hard work translate to unmanageable? Isn’t the definition of unmanageable “impossible to manage, manipulate, or control” Yes my hair is hard work but unmanageable I think not because I have been managing, manipulating and controlling my hair for almost 5 years with success. If it was impossible I most certainly would not have half as much of hair on my head as I do now. If hard work was easy then every natural would have successful hair journeys without trials and tribulations.
The reason why I am honest in expressing HOURS and PATIENCE that goes into my head is because I truly want people to understand who may have a hard time retaining length that it is not easy especially for kinky textures. My honesty is only wanting success for others who are frustrated and looking for results. Long hair regardless equals more work and then coupled with texture…the curlier your hair the more fragile and the more fragile translates to more delicacy and patience you need to take in caring for your hair. In return this means additional hours which equals more work. To truly help others who have not found success in their current hair methods is not to sugar coat, beat around the bush or ring around the rosy but to be should I dare…HONEST! Sort of like an intervention for long hair you have to bare all the facts so the hair can recover and flourish. Now I am not faulting others for wanting a quick fix, to give it to you straight there have been a many of times when I have been detangling my hair and thought ”Damn, I really wish it didn’t take this long!” Then I rewind and check myself because I am grateful to be healthy, happy and loved by my family and friends. I have a roof over my head and food to nourish my body, I am doing something I love etc. So through all these blessings if it takes hours upon hours upon hours to detangle my hair then so be it and through this hard work it is something I obviously want or I would have chopped my hair years ago. This is why I see a woman rocking a short cut and she will sometimes say besides the flyness of her hair (and just preferring the look of short hair over long) long hair was so much work and she couldn’t deal with it whether it is time or the work involved. Also let me not forget mothers one of the hardest jobs in the world so hair can sometimes be an afterthought. Shoot, I can understand but I know one of the other reasons why I have not chopped my crown is because at the end of the day I do enjoy my hair and I have found a regimen that has saved me time plus I love seeing the work I put into my hair and the successful results that follow.
Now when I go in depth and really give a breakdown of what is involved in the health and growth of my hair some people see that as me again perpetuating unmanageability such as washing my hair only once a month, updo styles 24/7, scarfing my strands every single night, taking hours to patiently detangle my hair, dry detangling (with oils), low manipulation by wearing protective styles every day and also protective styles during my washings instead of free form. Again this to others translates to something that is not simple because they have a misguided view of what simple can be. Simple is not only wash and gos and wearing your curls wild and free but simple can also be washing your hair once a month and leaving your hair in a protective style for 2-3 weeks even a month at a time. To be honest I don’t know what is simpler than that. The most I do to my hair during the weekdays is take my scarf off in the morning and spray olive oil on my hair before I place my scarf back on at night. Since I wear my hair in protective updo styles during the week which I never take down, my daily morning and nighttime hair routine takes a whopping 5 minutes total each day. Yes 5 minutes total each day so how does this translate to unmanageable? Now what is hard work are my detangling sessions especially with my length and texture but to me it is worth it. I will sacrifice time that is involved with my detangling sessions to have a simple and easy routine during the week days. At the end of the day I love my hair which is why this works best for me. Whether you are free and wild or protective and updo never let someone tell you that a regimen that works best for you is not up to par to proper way you should manage your hair
So ladies whatever your hair goals are such as transitioning, health, length, etc. don’t let hard work deter you from your path, if that is the path you wish to take. Like anything in life you strive towards you goals and in the end aren’t your goals stepping stones to your dreams?