I want to give a huge thank you to Antoinette & Shanti from the awesome blog “Around the Way Curls“, for letting me share a piece of myself in this interview about motherhood. You ladies rock! ♥
Nikisha writes: I was 16yrs old, pregnant, and a single parent. I wasn’t mature enough to raise a child, so as my son grew and I grew as well. I graduated from high school at 17 yrs old and made sure I headed straight to college even though he was only 3 months old. There were many times when I actually had to bring him to school with me when I had no one to watch him. Thank the Lord my mom was able to help me on her days off, because those first few years were tough! At this present time I can say life just keeps getting better, but it can still be stressful at times (insert tears, hair pulling, and yelling), especially while working and trying to balance everything like running errands, cooking, cleaning, doing homework with him, etc. I’m looking forward to getting married because being a single parent is no joke! I really, really, really appreciate the help I get from my fiance, because it makes such a drastic difference in the quality of life for the both of us. It’s definitely been a learning process for sure!
How many children do you have? How old is your child?
I have one child, a son named Jaden. He is going to be 12 yrs old in May.
If you could tell your pre-baby self anything to prepare for motherhood what would it be?
There is no such thing as a perfect mom.
The times are definitely a-changing. The stay at home, betty crocker-esque archetype of motherhood is being re-defined. In what ways do you think you are re-defining motherhood?
Ahhh…where do I start…lol? The re-defining part is all that I have been able to accomplish as a single mother. I try not to rely on other people to take care of my son. I do the research and put in the work so I can take care of him the best way I can on a holistic level. Back in the day, women didn’t have as much access to information or the opportunities we have today. I work, I have my master’s degree in childhood education, I’m my child’s psychologist, nutritionist, teacher, you name it! I still have my Martha Stewart side as well. I love to cook, clean, take care of the house, those sort of things.
What has been your greatest challenge as a mother?
Patience has been my greatest challenge. My son was diagnosed with ADHD many years ago. I know many don’t like the label, I don’t like it either, but he is definitely hyperactive, it’s hard for him to focus, and he is very impulsive. This leads him to making a lot of bad decisions and bouncing off the walls , which can be very difficult to deal with every day. I usually spaz out, but I’ve become a lot more patient with him in the past year, through prayer and being more understanding. Having an amazing male figure like Carl, my fiance, has been a huge blessing as well. Jaden is learning how to be a man from looking at him, that’s something I realize a mom can’t do. When he looks at me, he sees a female and how I do things from a female perspective. I can teach him all the wisdom in the world but I could never give him that male perspective that all little boys need. Only another man can model that for them. I have seen a big change in my son since Carl has been in his life. This has definitely also helped with my patience.