Nikisha_youth

 

 

The picture of the girl above was me at age 13, as you can see I looked a lot different then I do now.

Click on Read More + Comment to watch the trailer for the movie Bully. I watched the movie Bully last weekend with my son and my husband and I cried the whole way through, maybe more like sobbing. I am very passionate about this subject because I was a victim of extreme bullying in junior high school. And what I mean by extreme is the two boys that were 3x my size would not only call me names like anorexic, bulimic, toothpick, roach, mouse, nerd, flat chested, no booty, and cotton head on a daily basis, they would also sexually abuse me when no one was around and would shove items like chairs at me. This continued on for 2 years until I graduated and went to high school. I would cry to my mom everyday about the things they said, but I never told her about the sexual molestation that was occurring, I was to ashamed and embarrassed. My mom is a pretty passive woman and just told me that I was beautiful and they were just jealous, but she didn’t do anything to correct the situation. I went to high school so wounded and broken, where some bullying continued to occur. I hated my body and my hair, I thought something was wrong with me and that I wasn’t good enough. These wounds along with previous wounds from childhood followed me into adulthood, where I had no identity and a super low self esteem, so I started to attach myself to anything I thought was cool. I was really into Jamaican pride because that’s where my dad was from, then I got into making sure I was the smartest girl anyone ever met, then I got into straightening my hair and dressing like the girls from “around the way” (you know…timberland boots, gold chains, new Nike Airmax every month, fake nails, talking like I was raised in the streets) just to fit in. I even wore 3 pairs of tights under my jeans for like all of high school just so my legs would look thicker. During the summers of my high school years I would where a long sleeve coat in 90 degree weather because I hated my skinny arms and refused to show them. I was very depressed and tried to commit suicide by swallowing a bottle of aspirin. I became very promiscuous and got pregnant at 16 years old, and voila I have my son Jaden. I also became involved with men who were very emotionally and mentally unhealthy which lead down the road of dysfunctional relationships.

Fast forward to today and I thank God that I allowed Him to heal me from all of those wounds. I now know my identity is in Jesus, nothing else. My identity is not in my hair, my clothes, my style, my college degrees, my career, my achievements, myself as a mom or wife. I also know God loves me so much and he never makes mistakes. All my wounds and hardships happened so I can be strong for someone else and so I can be a living testimony on how God healed me and transformed my life. So, for those of you out there who have been a victim of bullying or are being bullied to this day, you are so loved by God and I LOVE YOU, your beautiful and made just the way you are for a purpose!!! So please feel free to email me. I would love to help in anyway I can. You can consider me somewhat of a mentor or just a friend :).

I encourage you to watch the movie Bully and if you have children or are a teacher allow them to watch it as well and become apart of the anti-bullying movement! Watch the trailer below: