“Stop Telling Women To Smile”, Brooklyn Artist Tatyana Fazlalizadeh Takes On Gender-Based Street Harassment.

Toi Lee

Wow…and I thought I was the only one that felt that way.

Antoinette

This is why I love UrbanBushBabes, things like this need to be known. I myself have been a victim of street harassing and I appreciate this feature.

Chevanne

I am *always* being told to smile by random strangers as if I’m messing up the day’s vibe. I’m like, wow, is there a reason you’re in my business?

D.Keys

This is a big conversation piece to have with just about anyone, and I also think that this topic of street harassment is so very relevant. I absolutely agree that boys and girls from a young age should be educated about what exactly is street harassment and why it is so hurtful and negative. Street harassment has happened to me so many times, that I can not tell you how many times I have even feared for my life. There’s been times that I have ignored the harassment and these men then go as far as to literally chase me down, just so that they can spit at me or call me an ugly bitch to my face, just because I did not respond to them.
I am very wary of men when they say to me, “Smile..you’re beautiful” or “Good morning” , because if I briefly smile at them or say a quick and stern “Good morning” to them as well, 95% of the time they take it as some sort of invitation for them to further comment on my body and my looks. Incidents like that make me feel very self-conscious and sometimes frightful for most of the day as I pass other men on the street.

Doubledutchbus

I always want to ask these men “is this really working for you? Have you ever gotten a date or a girlfriend from shouting her down on the street?”

Miss Moneypenny

love, Love LOVE this! I am always being told to smile by guys who think that’s their way “in” to a conversation with me. “Smile, baby girl.” My name’s NOT baby girl, lame!

Valerie Wye

If that’s all they said to you I do not see anything major to get mad at. idk how about if you don’t wanna talk you get ” then f_ck you B1tch”…ijs
- Elle
  
  You need this movie in your life NOW!

Yaya

I just recently ran a across this topic on Urban Male Perspective blog, and I was kind of disgusted by a couple of comments from men who think that it’s okay to basically harass women on the streets. But this a great discussion to have and to inform men how street harassment make us women feel very uncomfortable.

Article from Urban Male Perspective Blog:
http://www.singleblackmale.org/2013/09/05/cat-calling-pick-up-lines-is-street-harassment-ever-acceptable/

Adesuwa

Amen! It’s FLIPPIN’ ANNOYING!!!!

Camille Cadenhead

Men will not be as outspoken about this until homosexuality is no longer being touted as a sin, is truly excepted as the norm, and undoubtedly opens the door to reveal new entitled psychos who will feel they have a right to other men’s bodies because they are attracted to them. To be clear, I support the gay community completely in the struggle for equality, but I’m simply saying with new good usually comes new bad, and only then will straight men see it as the injustice it is.

Camille Cadenhead

Also, this is exactly why women need to stop relying so heavily on men to fight EVERY, SINGLE one their battles, especially battles like these because they don’t begin to understand. You talk to almost any man, including the ones I love dearly, about this very topic, and they laugh at us. They truly believe this issue is a joke, and just another attempt on the part of feminists to have power over men. Personally, I don’t want power over men. It’s not the answer to true equality for women. However, what I do believe men are afraid to talk about (because it reveals the basest element of their sexist nature and they know it) is fear of losing the power they have over us. All men ever want to talk about is how women are selfish because we don’t want to admit the power we have over them (our vaginas, whoopee-fucking-doo), but their guilty of the same thing. Their power to dictate to us who we share (or don’t share) that vagina with is just as prevalent a power, if not, more so. And know that. They just don’t want us to know it. They want us to believe the harassment is compliment, and not dictation. But dictation is exactly what it is, and the patronizing of women when they are affected by this harassment has women attacking each other. I would take this exhibit by the artist even further, and tell women to stop guilt tripping these same women who are harassed. Stop calling her a slut because she’s wearing a dress you ‘think’ you wouldn’t wear. Stop deciding for the sake of knocking her that everything on her is fake simply because she’s got long hair on her head or has bigger breasts than you or a bigger derriere. If you witness another woman being harassed, dare to ask and walk with her until the danger has passed. Call the police if necessary. I’m not saying treat every strange woman like a blood sister, but women need to build a much stronger sense of comradeship among us, if we are to get men to begin to take us seriously on these matters.

ChiChi

Perfect timing! Just this afternoon I got told to smile by a male who lives on my road. On another occasion, he practically yelled at me across the road telling me “you must learn to smile, smile!! I never thought of it as harrassment, but it is. It actually puts me in a bad mood when people tell me to smile. I’m not grumpy or moody, I guess I just have a natural serious face. I may not smile on the outside, but I’m happy inside. Great article.

odile

I’m totally on board with stopping telling women to smile. I remember growing up and purposely walking down the street with a scowl on my face. My whole idea in doing this was so that strangers would leave me the f alone. With advancements in modern technology I now wear ray bans and my ipod. That cuts down eye contact and me even hearing the stupid words come out of some ugly assholes mouth. It is a great deterrent. It’s a sad world in our society that men don’t know how to talk to women or respect women so I have to wear this invisible shield when I walk outside. I pray for the day when women don’t have to be harassed on the street. Chances are if you are just hanging out in the street and I didn’t approach you I’m not interested in talking to you in the first place.

Free

I’m glad to hear I’m not the only person that get this. Why do I need to smile?
The minute I do someone thinks it is an invitation to ask for my number.

TK Wonder

What a great project Tatyana has created and I think most women can truly relate to this issue. I wish her continued success on her journey to spread the word.

Foxyrou

Thank you, Tatyana! Get the word out, girl! I’ve been harassed by strange men on the streets, since I was a teenager. Grown @ss men were sexually harassing a teenager! That is how far this ish has gone! So, I fully support this movement! I hope she can bring more awareness to this big issue!

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i don’t want you to smile if you do not want to. Sorry guys hit on you too.
I am a guy and I do not act like that. Most real men do not.

k21207

Not just men but the older generation use always say “you need to smile”. They felt nothing could be so bad your not grateful for today. God gave you another day. Or your too beautiful not to smile. Uplifting your soul to let you know your worth. As for me…we are an object they have concocted in their heads of how they want to see us. There instant gratification of thinking they could get our attention or knowing they never will. Reaction gives pleasure. Sick and perverted but a real will make us smile.