I’m a lover not a fighter. I don’t like to get physical but….I had to resort with using of the hands. Yes ladies, I unfortunately resorted to the physical! I actually had to slap an intoxicated woman’s hand away from my hair the other day.

I was enjoying brunch with an amazing friend for her Birthday when mother-nature called and I had to use the bathroom. As I was waiting in line, minding my own got damn business, this woman and her two friends walk out of the bathroom and compliment me on my hair. Amongst the three women was one who was clearly intoxicated and then annoyingly began asking to touch my hair. The scenario went down something like this…

Featuring:

  • Me
  • Woman who couldn’t keep her hands to herself
  • Friends of the woman who couldn’t keep her hands to herself

 

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Friends of the woman who couldn’t keep her hands to herself: Is that all your hair?

Me: Yes, all mine

Friends of the woman who couldn’t keep her hands to herself: Really?

Me: Yeah (thinking “didn’t I just say yes?”) 

Woman who couldn’t keep her hands to herself:  OMG, I just loooooooove your hair, you must always have people asking you if you can touch it?

Me: Thank you so much and yes all the time!

Woman who couldn’t keep her hands to herself: Can I touch it?

Me: No

Woman who couldn’t keep her hands to herself: Oh come on, just a little touch?

Me: Ok, just a little NO! Do you understand the meaning of no? No!

Woman who couldn’t keep her hands to herself: Oh I’m sorry, I’m just soooooooooooooooooo drunk (laughing)

Me: (rolling my eyes and glaring)

Woman who couldn’t keep her hands to herself: Really just a quick feel. It’s like going to be so quick you won’t even notice.

Me: (glaring and thinking “This is a nice establishment, I don’t wanna have to slap nobody up in here”)

Woman who couldn’t keep her hands to herself: You can touch mine (as she begins to flip her hair all around while laughing)

Friends of the woman who couldn’t keep her hands to herself: (speaking to their intoxicated friend) I don’t think she wants to touch your hair, it’s not that interesting

Woman who couldn’t keep her hands to herself: Did you change your mind yet? Oh pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeease can I oh pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease?

Me: (directing my conversation to her friends) can you tell your friend to back off…

Woman who couldn’t keep her hands to herself: (reaching out to touch my hair)

Me

Now if I wasn’t waiting in the world’s longest line for the bathroom with a few drinks in me (meaning needing to tinkle quite badly) I would have simply walked away but that wasn’t the case. I am not a damn animal in a zoo and was not in the mood or entertained by the idea of having my hair felt up by a complete and utter stranger. So I said no, especially since she just came out the damn bathroom. Yet despite my protest, she still had the nerve to reach out and try to touch it anyway like she had the right, so I had to lay the pimp hand down! Like I mentioned, I do not like to get physical and gave her plenty of fare warning and since she didn’t understand words, I resorted to other means of communication she would be able to easily comprehend in her intoxicated state.  Her reaction… a look of shock and immediate apologies and the reason why I didn’t feel bad is because I gave her fair warning. A line had been crossed therefore she touched at her own risk!

I feel no explanation is needed when it comes to strangers touching my hair, NONE, NADA, NUNYA! You can ask me all the questions you want  about my hair, in fact you might regret asking me because I can go on and on talking to my heart’s content about all questions involving hair but touching is something entirely different.  Now depending on the situation I have on occasion let strangers touch my hair before but just coming from off the toilet with annoying drunk booty behavior is neither the time or place. Immediately after this situation I started to laugh because I thought what would all of you have done, because I’m sure this has happened to so many of you or at least the asking to touch your hair part of this situation. So ladies let’s hear…

What would you do if a stranger touched your hair regardless of your feelings?